I have been dating my boyfriend for about seven months now and when we first met he told me he played WoW from time to time. I honestly had no idea what WoW was since I'm not a gamer myself. At first I didn't think much of it, until about two months after we started dating when he quit his job and his life pretty much became the game. He would tell me not to come over because he had a raid or that he "had plans with friends" which meant staying home and playing the game as well. This lasted for about two months of non-stop playing, where he would go to bed at 8am and sleep till about 2pm maybe later if it was a Tuesday and the server reset. After awhile I pretty much had enough and started to get really upset, we would end up fighting because I would come over and all he would want to do was play WoW or pick a fight with me so that he wouldn't feel guilty about playing the game.
After a couple months he realized the amount of time he had logged on the game, it was almost two full week and was averaging over 10 hours a day. He decided to "quit" the game and the agreement was that I would get him a PS3 for his birthday since he said that the system allows him to pause games and that it's not nearly as addictive, so I bought him the PS3 that he wanted and for the next three months things were great. He would play the system from time to time but true to his word would pause the game and didn't spend nearly as much time on the system as he did playing WoW. On top of that he was working full time again and had a pretty normal sleep routine which was great because I work full time and get up at 6am Monday to Friday for work.
About two months agao that changed again, he has not touched the PS3 I bought him and instead decided to reinstall WoW on his computer. He has quit yet another job and is back to devoting about 10 hours a day to the game. This time he's even started his own guild and uses that as an excuse for having to spend so much time on there since he has to get members to join his guild. He picks fights with me to legitimate his desire to play the game and than tells me that I'm guilt tripping him if I ever bring up how much he plays. He'll get angry at me and pretty much tell me that we aren't talking about it. Since he started playing again all I hear is how he's happy with me but needs his own space as well which I understand I like my space as well but I just find it's gone to the extreme.
We'll go out and watch a movie or go to dinner and the first thing he wants to do when we get home is go on WoW, it could be 2am and that's all he's thinking about. We could be laying in bed after having a great night and his mind will be on the game and first thing he does in the morning is turn on his computer and check WoW. He'll tell me that all he needs is 15 minutes to get his dailies done and 15 minutes turns to 2 or 3 hours. If I mention how long it's been I'm being a jerk according to him and he'll pick a fight so that I won't say anything and he'll stay on longer.
The truth is I really do love him and I love the person he is when he's not addicted to the game. I've tried to ask him if he thinks he's addicted or if he think he plays too much and he just gets very defensive. He states that since I don't see him everyday that it's none of my business what he does on the days when I'm not there. He constantly talks about wanting to buy a house and get out of debt, but that's next to near impossible when you can't keep a single job. I make a fairly decent income and have a great job and he just keeps pressuring me to find jobs that pay even better so that we can be more comfortable and can afford to buy a house sooner meanwhile he isn't even holding down a job. I don't want to just give up on him because that's pretty much what he's come to expect from the people in his life but I really don't know what to do at this point. Everytime I try to talk about WoW I get yelled at or the silent treatment and I'm really not sure how much more I can take. We talk about a family and a future but the reality is I can't imagine what it would be like to have kids with him, I would feel like a single parent. As it is I'm the one who cooks, cleans, takes out the garbage, does all the laundry etc and I'm sure in someways I'm enabling this by doing all those things for him. I just really need some advice about how to talk to him about WoW everytime I bring it up it turns into a huge fight, I tried again today and got told we aren't talking about it. I tried to explain that it would be no different than me going to the casino everyday for 10 hours a day I would be addicted to gambling. To any of the former addicts out there, did anyone try to talk to you about it and how did you handle it? Is there a good way to bring up the topic without it turning into a fight?